The desire to have a child is a personal matter that can arise within the context of a relationship—but not necessarily only there.

Modern lifestyles, work demands, the absence of a partner, the factor of age, and many other factors can lead a woman to consider having a child without a partner at that particular moment. Her desires, combined with the fundamental reality of time, shape the framework within which she negotiates the decision to have a child—on her own.

In forming this decision, certain concerns arise, such as:

• The weight of individual responsibility, both practically and emotionally
• Managing societal perceptions and the reactions of her immediate environment
• Handling this type of single parenthood in the course of raising the child
• Coping with the fear of the unknown and the future

It is important that every thought and concern is discussed and that each woman finds her own personal answers. This helps in making a well-informed decision, as the questions, the answers, and the final decision are hers alone.

However, this does not mean that she has to experience it all alone. Sharing, expressing, talking, and seeking counseling during the decision-making process are ways to connect more deeply with oneself, to gain new insights, discover questions and answers, and to view the path with less emotional intensity and more awareness.

Efforts Without Results

Every attempt to have a child is a cycle that begins with hope and the expectation of a positive outcome. But when this does not happen, the cycle closes abruptly. However, the desire remains.

What went wrong? Did I make a mistake? Is it worth trying again? Will we ever succeed?

Each with its own “tools” allows us to perceive our needs, prompting us to address them. Just as we physically feel hunger, sleepiness, pain, etc., we also receive signals psychologically through emotions like fear, joy, sadness, or anger about what is happening. A physical condition can have emotional effects, and vice versa.

Psychosomatic Symptoms

Psychosomatic symptoms occur when emotions find an outlet for expression in the body. When intense emotional states are present, or when we struggle to connect with our feelings—headaches, dizziness, stomach issues, skin conditions, neck pain, and more—these can become the body’s way of speaking on behalf of our psychology.

Key Things to Observe in Our Daily Flow

• If our sleep has been affected
• If our diet has changed
• How our concentration is
• What our mood is like
• How much energy we feel we have
• If we are experiencing psychosomatic symptoms
• If our immune system is weakened

During the IVF Process

A common concern for women during the IVF process is whether their psychological state can affect their physical condition. Any unpleasant emotion may seem like a threat that could ruin the outcome, but this is not true in practice. It’s important to remember that an excessive effort to remain positive can force our other voices (such as anxiety, discomfort, or irritation) to find an outlet in the body.

The process of self-care does not change or gain new rules during this period of trying. We observe, understand, explain, and care for both our body and our psychology.

The Psychology of Nutrition

At Embryolab, our goal is fertility. Nutrition is directly connected to fertility issues and plays its role in the IVF process. However, our diet is also influenced by our mental state, and we may notice that depending on our emotional phases, it becomes easier or harder to take care of it.

A Proper Diet or Ideal Body Weight

These are certainly desirable for most people. However, the pace of daily life, stress, emotional instability, pressure from life’s difficulties, and many other factors can be reasons to neglect our nutrition or find in it a refuge of pleasure (if no other is available). Conversely, we may be in an anxious pursuit of perfect nutrition—trying to take care of the body but ultimately linking it to high levels of stress. Under certain conditions, any tendency can evolve into an eating disorder.

What Can We Do?

First, recognize our relationship with food and, without fear or guilt, address it with understanding and genuine interest. This is a healthy approach, as opposed to a restrictive one that tries to “put us on a regimen” in a harsh or unsustainable way. This is a good example of the conflict that often leads us to a dead end: “pleasure with poor nutrition” or “punishment with good nutrition.”

Our eating behavior is a significant aspect that characterizes our relationship with ourselves: how we maintain, care for, please, and ensure our[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Infertility is a condition that affects various aspects of a couple’s life, and one of the areas often impacted is sexuality. Sometimes it is burdened with guilt for not achieving the desired outcome, and other times it is accompanied by the fear of losing it entirely. It’s not uncommon for sexuality to become a taboo subject, even within the relationship.

Sexual Intercourse

Sexual intercourse is one of many ways a couple connects, and it often reflects elements of their overall interaction. It is influenced both by the phases the couple is going through and by the psychological state of each partner. At the same time, sex is also an expression of fertility. It symbolizes the result of union, love, and affection. However, when this path does not lead to the desired destination, emotional reactions can arise:

Gradually, sexual activity may become solely associated with having a child, losing all other significance.

The couple, or one of the partners, may begin to avoid intercourse, which becomes laden with guilt.

The feeling that “sex just happens” or conversely that “it starts not to happen” can make people feel like they are losing control. This can lead to isolation within the couple, who feel powerless in the face of the unspoken issue that lingers in the air. When sexual dysfunctions are present, it becomes difficult to distinguish between cause and effect.

Choosing IVF

In vitro fertilization (IVF) often comes as a solution, but it replaces the traditional path of sexual intercourse. This can be both a relief and a source of sadness. In this phase, it’s important that neither sex, the relationship, nor either partner becomes a scapegoat.

Remember

Sexuality does not need to be sacrificed. It is a part of ourselves and our relationship that we can nurture separately. We can maintain all the ways that bring us closer: touch, kissing, hugging, communication, and the desire to be together – in every sense.

During the journey, anxiety and concern about the outcome can manifest in various ways. A common one is seeking out information or examples that reveal success rates or potential risks. Searching the internet, comparing with other couples in the immediate environment, or even within the same clinic can become a source of information.

How Does This Tendency Affect a Couple in the Process of Trying?

Comparison can sometimes be done in moderation without preventing us from focusing on ourselves. However, it can also become persistent, leading to disorganization. The thought that “every case is different” is usually acknowledged in theory but doesn’t always ease our emotions. Essentially, behind these searches is our need to feel secure.

However, if we notice that these searches increase our anxiety or divert us from our own path:

Focus on three key areas:

• Time: Stay in the present.
• Practicality: Take each step one at a time.
• Emotionally: Stay connected with yourself.

Set limits on constant internet searches.

Remind yourself that to ease fear, you need to trust yourself more rather than compare.

Seek help if you find it challenging to manage on your own.

One of the questions that often concerns couples is whether they should share their journey with those close to them and how much this might help. In some cases, the answer is clear and straightforward—either “yes” or “no”—based on the specific circumstances and needs of each couple. However, sometimes the decision is influenced by various thoughts and concerns, such as:

Exposure: of something very personal, affecting both individuals and the relationship itself.

Worry: about causing distress by sharing the news.

Anxiety over others’ expectations: the responsibility they may feel for the success or failure.

Fear: of being bombarded with too many questions about every step (test results, causes of infertility, treatment plan choices, etc.).

Frustration: if they hear too many tips on success or positive thinking.

Guilt: if they ultimately decide not to share and “leave these people out.”

How Can an Environment Be Supportive?

• By maintaining as discreet an approach as possible.
• By avoiding intrusive questions and expressions of anxiety.
• By focusing more on the people rather than just the outcome.

It’s important for each couple to feel free to organize and carry out their steps as they see fit, answering for themselves the questions, “What helps us?” and “How do we want to experience this?”

In the end—regardless of who and how many people are by their side—their journey remains their own unique, personal, and distinct experience!

Embryo transfer is the much-anticipated moment that marks the culmination and peak of a long journey. But it’s even more than that—it’s the moment of connection with the embryo, which now sets the natural course of things. For these reasons, it’s a magical but also anxiety-filled experience, as it’s followed by days of waiting for the result.

When preparing for the embryo transfer, it’s crucial for every woman to focus on herself. All eyes may be on her, but this should not be a source of pressure. The same supportive approach should be reflected in the attitudes of those around her. Every conversation can be a source of encouragement, or the opposite. Words of understanding and support can ease anxiety, while repeated questions, remarks, and advice can lead to feelings of isolation and alienation.

Finally, it’s important to remember that the embryo, which we eagerly anticipate, has its own journey that unfolds alongside ours. The patience required during this time may seem like it ties our hands, but in reality, it asks us to keep them open.

The Waiting Period

Waiting with patience… until the final result! The days that follow are filled with anxiety, anticipation, and hope, bringing the period of efforts to a close. These are also strange days, as the active phase has ended. For every woman, this journey is a deeply personal experience.

Her body, emotions, thoughts—everything she does—is part of this living process. The fear of the result, whether in the form of anxiety or a need for control, is natural but requires management to prevent it from becoming overwhelming. General advice suggests maintaining as normal a routine as possible, with caution and avoiding extremes of any kind. Obviously, intense activity should be avoided, but so should total inactivity, even though some women might choose it with the best of intentions. Engaging in something enjoyable, taking a walk, having a friendly conversation, and similar activities can help reduce anxiety.

Of course, every woman has her own unique needs, so only she can know what stresses her, what relaxes her, who inspires her for conversation, what kind of daily routine helps her, and ultimately, how she wants to live through these special days. By staying in touch with herself and trusting her feelings, she can effectively manage this demanding waiting period. Moreover, it’s important not to burden herself unnecessarily with thoughts like “Does it matter that I was anxious? Am I not positive enough?” Such thoughts are usually expressions of anxiety rather than factors that could affect the outcome.

The Partner Relationship

The relationship and its journey during this time are important because the relationship itself is present, participating and being influenced as an independent entity. It may be the starting point of the journey and the driving force behind it, but it also bears the weight of anxiety, discomfort, and fatigue experienced by both partners. There may even be fears and concerns about the future of the relationship after the “storm of infertility.” Moments of tension, relief, isolation, as well as connection, communication, and tenderness may alternate in the couple’s daily life.

The effort to have a child may begin as a beautiful goal but can turn into a painful process that risks defining the relationship entirely. When having a child becomes the measure of whether the relationship will continue, the whole process takes on a more stressful character, and the result becomes a heavy and risky title. A significant part of managing this situation is the internal distinction and clear understanding of the relationship between the problem and the approach to the goal.

This makes it easier to maintain balance and for each partner to support the other according to their needs. How can this be put into practice?

• Through communication: with honesty, respect, consistency, and patience.
• Through acceptance: without criticism or a dismissive attitude.
• Through physical and verbal contact.
• Through finding common ground: in decisions and management.
• Through mutual support: both partners need it.

By avoiding comparisons: every couple is unique.

With the constant reminder: that the relationship needs its own care, as it too is trying to grow.

On the path to “good mental health,” we can avoid the following traps:

• Trap No. 1: Associating “good” with “happy”
  It’s inherently impossible (at any stage of our lives) since we don’t only experience stimuli of joy. The reality of infertility and the process of trying cannot be exclusively associated with feelings of joy or satisfaction.
• Trap No. 2: Blaming ourselves for any unpleasant emotions
  The idea that bad feelings are harmful to us is incorrect.
• Trap No. 3: Connecting the outcome of the effort with the emotions we experienced during it
  It doesn’t help to treat our mental health as a tool or instrument, but rather as the way we experience the effort itself, just as we do with everything else.
• Trap No. 4: Criticizing our partner when they experience emotional difficulties
  Even if we think our goal is to help, comments like “don’t feel that way/you’re hurting yourself with these feelings” lead to feelings of alienation and isolation, as the connection has been replaced by criticism.
• Trap No. 5: Resisting help and clinging to dysfunctional habits

Human nature often tends to get stuck in the familiar and avoid the new, even if it’s more helpful. If we notice that the way we’re trying to improve our mental health isn’t working, we’re likely on a journey to find something better—let’s support that!

After months or even years of trying, the IVF process often begins—a special moment for the relationship, filled with emotions. Each couple tries to prepare as much as possible from every perspective—practically, psychologically, medically, and physically. Initially, the period of organization and procedural matters usually creates some disruption until the step of treatment and completion comes. Naturally, the woman is more at the center of attention, but this does not mean that the partner’s psychology is any less important. This beginning and this journey are shared and walked hand in hand.

How the Couple Can Enhance Their Unique Journey

• Good contact and communication within the relationship: Without criticism but with understanding and free emotional expression.
• Focusing on “one step at a time”: Avoiding anxious thoughts.
• Comprehensive information about the process: Addressing concerns that reduce insecurity.
• Effective management of the environment: Choosing the right people to share the experience with.
• Good organization of daily life and consistent self-care: Helping each partner physically and mentally.
• Avoiding persistent searches on the internet and comparisons with other cases: Preventing distraction and disorientation.
• Constant reminder that all this is happening for the chance towards a beautiful goal: Not to pressure, burden, or wear out ourselves and our relationship.

At Embryolab, our goal is fertility.

The diagnosis of infertility alone is enough to trigger a series of difficult emotions, which release the natural human reaction to what is happening. One of these emotions is anger, which sometimes manifests intensely and other times more quietly — even guiltily. Anger is often seen as a “bad/wrong” emotion that troubles us with its intensity. However, we must remember that it, too, has its utility, like all other human emotions.

Where is Anger Usually Directed?

Anger can be directed at fate, destiny, ourselves, our partner, those who bring us bad news, those who ask why we don’t have children yet, every piece of advice that doesn’t help, and the question of why this is happening to us.

When Does It Appear?

Anger can be present from the initial unsuccessful attempts, during the diagnosis of infertility, and throughout the effort.

Which Partner Feels It More?

There is no rule. One partner might react more strongly to anger due to personality, circumstances, or other factors, or both partners might experience it simultaneously.

How Can We Express Our Anger Without Harming the Relationship?

Given the intensity it naturally causes, it is important not to express anger aggressively within the couple. The manner of expression plays a significant role: saying “it’s your fault” or various personal insults is different from saying “I am angry with what is happening.” When anger is accepted and there is understanding, it is more likely to subside sooner.

How Can We Manage It?

As with any emotion, managing anger becomes easier when we understand its role and the need it serves. Anger is part of the reaction to something we experience as difficulty, loss, or change. It also expresses a sense of injustice. The goal is to move more smoothly toward accepting the new situation through the release of these reactions.

Caution

If anger is intense and persistent, hindering our progress, we might need to pay more attention to our deeper needs and how we perceive adaptation. Often, the sense of justice behind anger can become confining. While it seems to be fighting to justify us, it may prevent us from moving forward.